#i really hope this makes some amount of sense
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I kinda really love “Robiin II: Becoming the Monster” because it contrasts the brightness and excitement that “becoming the magic!” encompasses. But what I really like about it is how if there’s an emphasis throughout about his view of himself and how others see him.
Wasn’t he buried next to Sheila? Bruce focuses so hard on how Jason died(does he even know that Sheila led Jason to the joker? That he was just trying to help his mom, that he didn’t just run off recklessly and confront the joker? That at the last moment Sheila, instead of immediately running off tried to help Jason because of how selfless and brave he was but it was too late for them?) that what he remembers of Jason becomes almost warped by every small interaction that could have been a “warning sign” of what was to come. Every close call, every disagreement, every expression of anger from his child is now overshadowing who he actually was. And tbh he still loves Jason dearly and cares for him and his light and hope but after Jason’s death he becomes especially unforgiving, most of all to himself, so he’s remembering what he thinks he should have seen
From growing up in crime alley, people who don’t even know him hear that and just assume he’s violent or destined to become a criminal(probably something he hears a fair amount after he gets adopted by Bruce from higher society members and the media). Maybe he learns from Talia’s sources about how his entire memory has basically been moulded into this tragic thing. The words that travel far enough to reach him are the cruelest. Talking about how he was reckless, how him dying was inevitable, maybe about the memorial in the cave. There’s this one panel set where Talia tells catatonic!Jason that Bruce misses him and that Jason(and dick) gave him hope as Robin and he cries
How he views himself, with his going against some of the rules Batman ingrained in him. How it feels right but also like a betrayal even though he’s so angry with Bruce.
Even physically too ! Dying at 15, losing more than a year of time, did his revival or the Lazarus pit reduce the effects of any malnutrition as a kid? Did he have a growth spurt? Does his body even feel like his? It must be incredibly disorienting and dysphoria inducing to die in one state and basically emerge from that water in a body he can’t remember growing in to. Muscle memory and habits that are unfamiliar.
Becoming the monster is just him learning how to exist. How to help in a way he thinks can actually work. The joker got out and he died, he grew up seeing people get hurt after the system failed to protect them again and again and so his training and returning to Gotham was part of a plan to show that to Batman. To make a Statement that he doesn’t think that things can stay the same and get better.
Him seeing Tim in all that armour could be reinforcing his view that he wasn’t as valued/ was more disposable. Or maybe he takes this as Batman caring enough to add more protection to this new kid but not enough to get blood on his hands and stop the major threats that would endanger him the most.
Ok I’ve gone off on a super tangent and was trying to pay attention to a conversation at the same time so maybe this doesn’t make any sense or is relevant at all but I just really like “Robin 2: becoming the monster.” Jason embodying the whole “I may be a terrible person but at least I’m taking a bunch more down with me and proving a point while I do”(or at least trying to! He thinks he’s making a very good and reasonable point and this is about him so that’s what matters). And I just love imagining talias support of him through all of this being portrayed as mostly background or insignificant in the face of how much he’s Feeling except for a few small moments where like maybe it’s a flash back or a v/o of a line of her supporting him would be like <33 especially if it happens during like a scene with Bruce to set her as a contrast adult/parental figure in his new second life. Or when he’s killing someone Talias line from lost days where Jason’s like “[blah if I kill this person] don’t tell me the world isn’t better off. Why are you smiling?” And talias like “you’re learning” and he’s all intense like “yea guess I am”
Idk just Jason not thinking he’s a good person but still thinking the terrible and even monstrous things he’s doing aren’t necessarily wrong and are even good is just such an important part of his character and I love that for him and that title was just yesssss and I could talk about Jason for hrs and I’m not going to edit this so I’m so sorry if it doesn’t make sense but your brain is so big and this thread is wonderful
There's a post about wanting a story about Jason's time as Robin. I made a reblog of it so long ago, but I can't stop thinking about it.
I want to watch Jason's flight as Robin, but the entire story he's haunted by the future we all know is going to come.
When he first grabs his tire iron, he has the choice of taking a crowbar instead.
Subtle purples or greens pop up when he's in danger (but not necessarily the Joker).
He frees a bird trapped inside a warehouse.
He rescues a kid who was kidnapped by their mom and returns them to their dad.
So many dead or injured birds
While helping Alfred with gardening, he breaks a nail
Gun magazines at many scenes
Motorcyclists wearing red helmets
Someone's bubbling jacuzzi has a green light on
Duffle bags
He helps hold a bandage to someone's neck until paramedics arrive
Jason reads Frankenstein while at the Manor
An ad proclaims their coffins to be the sturdiest
Just his Robin story being jammed packed with foreshadowing.
It'd also be rad to have Easter Eggs:
Someone makes a comment about assassin kids
When talking to Bruce about something, on the batscreen is a very short file about "One Who is All"
Someone at a gala mentions the Drakes' newest archeology find
Kids at Jason's school chat about meta powers and how cool controlling light is
When visiting the hospital, the nurse introduces herself as Crystal
The buildup of the audience watching Jason, who's unaware of his future, continuously face sign after sign after sign? The irrational hope that maybe someone will notice the universe basically screaming about the future? Nobody notices as more and more signs pop up. It's maddening but so intriguing.
Jason's story of Robin would follow him as he goes from being desperate to survive to thriving. His paranoia that it's too good to be true thrums in his veins, but he learns to ignore it. He's fed, loved, and flies over Gotham every night. There's conflict, sure, but he's figuring out. It's okay.
The signs start out slow and subtle. As he starts to reach towards the end, they get more and more obvious. They occur more often.
Jason doesn't know when it all goes wrong, but he's figured it out before.
We don't see him lose hope until the very end.
EDIT:
Here's the og post I was referencing
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Asking because of the previous ask, are you not a fan of Ethan anymore? If so, why?
It's complicated, I suppose (rant where i talk abt ethan but then also my OCs in general)
I really do not like the first version of Ethan I made like 3 years ago. Obviously I like indulging in devilish ideas but I don't know, it ended up turning into something I didn't really end up liking too much.
Then I revisited and sort of rewrote his story a bit a while back when making the OC archive site (I'm aware the site is not available anymore for the people who asked, I took it down myself) and was much happier with it for a while.
Don't get me wrong, I like Ethan, I know he's the OC people seem to like the most, but it's still like a personal mental battle of like maybe it's too effed up? Even when I draw characters going through unwilling/accidental extreme weight gain, I make them either ambivalent or accepting of their situation, but for Ethan it's kind of like torture, and I can't bring myself to get like..aroused and excited to draw more of that *personally*.
Changing up his lore wouldn't really work either since his story is based on helplessness and stuff, and it'd be disingenuous to make him be happy with his situation, so I've just sort of subconsciously decided to leave him as is and treat his content as its self contained story more than nsfw art to goon to, if that makes sense. I don't know, maybe I'm just thinking about it too much, but just wanted to say what goes through my head.
I also don't really revisit Ethan for the same reason I don't tend to draw much of all the past OCs I've made, as I see each of them as a way to explore different facets of how weight gain can manifest and adapt into a character's life to create a story around it, and I feel like I've covered most of the ground around them already.
All of my OCs come from a sudden short prompt that pops up in my head, usually out of nowhere. I suddenly wanted to make a big-hearted southern farm guy who was super massive and I immediately ran to draw Rudy, for example.
I draw them a little reference, with my typical bullet points next to them with basic info to get an idea of what their dynamic is like, and a more lengthily written backstory or description if I'm feeling fancy under it, and then for the next week or two it's all art of them and answering questions about them... and then another idea pops up, and a new OC comes in.
It's not that I get tired of them, but I just simply do not know what to draw with them. Ethan is the biggest outlier in this case, since he is my fattest OC and half immobile, you just don't really know how else to bring something new that's not him laying on his bed at a slightly different angle.
I guess that's why I always do OC asks, I sort of need them to be able to know what to draw with them, since I struggle coming with things like that by myself, and you know I always like avoiding drawing a character in a void with no context.
The Genshin Obesity AU is my longest running like "project"?? thing just because there is an endless amount of content I can pull from since there's all these characters, places and possibilities I can write from. My OCs are obviously much more self-contained and moreso serve as individual experiments to explore different people and scenarios, so after the 10th drawing of them... I genuinely do not know what else I can add to them.
I hope that was a bit insightful. I know most of you guys love Ethan, and I love him too! But I don't know, I guess this is why I don't tend to have immobile/near immobile OCs, since the potential art ideas for them drop to just them sitting on a mattress or sitting on the floor and I'm just left confused on what to do with them.
Maybe Ethan in his college days is something you guys might be interested in? Or I don't know, I'm just writing this post as my thoughts enter my head.
Sorry for the rant, I sure do love typing, hope this clears up some questions people might've had
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part i
“Spencer, it’s almost as though you’re the piece of my life that I never knew was missing until now. It seems that you’ve been a part of it for much longer than this competition, and while I don’t yet know just what form that will take, signs point to you continuing to be in it for some time to come. Congratulations - you’re the first through.”
“Delphine, I entered this competition hoping to find a partner. And I’ve found one in a completely different sense than what I was expecting, because you’re now also one of my best friends. But we have potential to be something else alongside that too, and you’ve given me enough to be sure of that while still wanting more. You are already very special to me - and you’re the second through. Well done.”
“Tiago, you are just a joy to be around. But with a surprising amount of ambition, and you’re good for the deeper talks too. And you’re also skilled at - well, this is supposed to be the family friendly segment of this show, so I won’t elaborate further. You are unapologetically yourself, don’t ever change. You’re the third through - and I hope to get to know you better still.”
“Mister, you surprised me. In person you have such an approachable, playful masculinity - and a wholly genuine, decent nature in spite of your party vibe. What’s no surprise is how femme sims are drawn to you - and I’m no exception. You worked hard, played hard, and were always happy to help out. Congratulations - you scored highly, and scored in - well, I’ll see you next round.”
“Pauline, apparently you had live chat buzzing when you teleported your way onto that lot, and I was right there with them. You have a demeanour cool enough to freeze even that Dine Out pack over, and yet a sweet and sometimes goofy, vulnerable side to go with it. I’m so glad to have met you, and I really want to see what more you have to offer. Here’s my literal strawberry for now.”
“Jerrod, you intrigue me. You are a man of many parts and I just want to know what makes you tick. You add just the right amount of unexpectedness and keep me on my toes - especially when you scream at me then proposition me in your very next breath. I never know which version of you I’m going to get - and for once that’s not a turn-off. I want to give you the opportunity to surprise me yet again.”
how scores were calculated
So here are our Top Six! In the end I decided to pad out the posts not to be mean, but to give people a chance to react to each one and for their pixels to have their moment. (Also I need to edit the rest lol) Contestants 7-12 will be up early afternoon (I need that sleep and that panadol lol) while contestants 13-18 will be up in the evening. A reminder that the bottom three will be going home 🥺
@akitasimblr @changingplumbob @simsfvr
@igglemouse @invisiblequeen @simstagramsomeone
#simply lilac#simply lilac round one#simply lilac 'strawberry' ceremony#lilac moon#araminta hearst-irsay#spencer west-harper by akitasimblr#delphine hubert by changingplumbob#tiago pecholobo by simsfvr#mister maxwell by igglemouse#pauline irwin by invisiblequeen#jerrod gibson by simstagramsomeone
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how about selling pinup pics? some tasteful lingerie pics, something spicy without getting explicate. i'd definitely buy a pinup print that you autograph
It's mostly the "time to do all this" that is a problem in general. Like I'd absolutely do it, but the amount of people supporting the stuff I actually like doing and putting my creative efforts into is not enough to warrant doing a whole series of other things that people may or may not support as well.
It seems simple on paper but just to sell pinup pics I'd need to:
Buy lingerie.
Set up an area in my apt for taking photos/buy set dressing.
Take the time to take all the photos.
Take the time to select the best photos.
Do the proper photo editing to make the photos look good as prints.
Find a print shop that is okay with printing these types of photos.
Buy the prints.
Set up an online storefront for them.
Set up a shipping service so I'm not directly sending things from my home address.
Take in orders and ship out each one, signing them when asked.
Having enough in stock that, if damaged in the shipping process, I can offer a replacement or refund.
And that's just the surface level stuff.
It's why when people ask me to do "INSERT THING HERE THAT WILL COST BOTH MYSELF AND THEM MONEY" I ask them to first support the thing I do for free to see what level of commitment people are actually willing to offer.
I really hope this all makes sense?
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I've been working on a world since 2019 and a few characters have had disability aides that are, like, full arms (haven't done legs yet for some reason, maybe because i drew a Lot of halfbody things for a while) but i have a dilemma that I'd like some advice on
so when a character is amputated/born missing a limb in my world they can choose to keep the amputation as is, or choose to get a 'robot arm' for lack of a better term. they aren't very advanced in technology in the usual way, but everything is kind of shifted to the left. it's been thousands of years and VHS players survived, but the video output hasn't, so now they have reprogrammed them to connect to lazers that show on the top of the box. they also tried cars (a very safe model that ran on water) but stopped once a couple died in a crash. they like pick and choose what they work on i guess
but! the disability part of this is: would it be alright if i have them create a synthetic limb that connects to their nerves (a VERY careful process) so it can still act like an abled limb, or would this just br a cop-out 'magic robot arm that is just like the flesh arm'? there are also alternatives to the ability aides as well; someone can get extremely tall mantis-like legs or get special made claws or whatever makes the person happy. i have a character i always think about with this since she's a tattoo artist that was born with her left arm amputated from the shoulder. so she could use the 'robot arm' to do the tattooing and use her other hand to hold the client still and move them around, but i don't want it to be the 'magic limb' thing again
if this is way too wordy you are more than welcome to tell me to try again, i am sorry, i just want to make sure everything is on the table and makes sense. hope you're having a lovely day/night!
Hello, thank you for your ask!
Note while we don’t have any amputee mods, I live with metal implants and will draw from that lived experience.
If you were to have a prosthetic limb be able to act just like a natural limb, it would fall into the ‘perfect prosthetic’ trope. This kind of character design isn’t disability representation, it’s just for the sake of aesthetic. Here are posts we’ve reblogged on the subject by amputees, I’d recommend looking at them [link] [same post but video format] [link]. These posts go much more into living with prosthetics, what to think about when making an amputee character and tropes to avoid that I ever could. If you really want the cool aesthetic of having a human with awesome robot parts, make an android/robot instead! You get all the cool visuals without peddling myths about disabled people that a surprising amount of people really believe.
As for having a character with an arm prosthetic that’s a tattoo machine, I think it’s fine! I’ve seen real world examples of that exact thing [link]. Just know it won’t act as a hand holding a tattoo machine, it’ll be stiff and to adjust the angle your character will either move their arm or manually adjust with their hand.
There is real world work on making prosthetics that connect to nerves, so I’ll talk about that as well. In previous posts we’ve talked about how most arm amputees don’t like wearing prosthetics since they tend to be heavy, uncomfortable and difficult to use, and that’s especially true for mechanical prosthetics. This article on the subject [link] [video that goes a bit more into it] shows a real world example of exactly the kind of prosthetic you’re talking about, though notably with zero feedback from the people who have one. It briefly touches on how the weight may be uncomfortable, how it needs frequent readjustments and practice from both the technicians and amputee to do things like pick up a block, and how the nerve sensors in it are dull, but I imagine that’s only a small bit of the real story. From personal experience, once a nerve is severed it is extremely difficult to ‘wake it up,’ and in some cases may be impossible. It took months of physical and occupational therapy for me to get back small motions and any physical sensation, and for a long time after that what I could feel changed from nothing to either dull, buzzy discomfort or electrical pain. Not to mention the metal implanted in the person for it to work would hurt [plus these kinds of prosthetic implants that go into the bone have a high failure rate due to the very increased risk of getting an infection, as the implant is both inside and outside the body]. If it gets too cold, if the air pressure changes, and just sometimes randomly metal implants become painful, and I’ve yet to meet anyone with implants with a different experience.
Essentially, using this kind of prosthetic would be extremely difficult and would also be painful and uncomfortable, and any character with one would need to be very dedicated, not to mention have a lot of spare time to dedicate to learning to use it and money to afford it, it’s surgeries and the frequent appointments to get it to work.
I hope this helps!
Mod Rot
#anonymous#mod rot#perfect prosthetic trope#prosthetics#fantasy disabilities#disabled fantasy characters#fantasy setting
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came across some cultural christianity discourse, so just a few (rather disorganized) thoughts from one (1) ex-christian's pov:
gonna start off by saying i do understand the idea of cultural christianity and the need for a term to encompass it. and it's definitely kind of uncomfortable, but like, a term for the concept needs to exist.
(i think part of the issue comes from "cultural christianity" or "christian culture" coming off differently than "cultural christian" or "christian atheist". "cultural christianity" addresses a culture. "cultural christian" addresses a person -- and i think that's what makes ex-christians get defensive.)
i think there's an element of shame to feeling like you belong to a different culture than the one you feel like you were supposed to?
i bring up this idea because i'm ethnically chinese, but i was raised in north america. my relatives call me a banana, because i'm "yellow on the outside but white on the inside". and like, there's nothing really wrong with that. it's the truth, and none of it is my fault. but it always feels shameful, anyways -- like i've failed my ancestors and i've failed the community that raised me. like i'll never be white enough and i'll never be chinese enough.
(and i have thought about it maybe being because of sorta white guilt over north america's shitty history, maybe wishing my culture wasn't built on another's bones. but then, china's hands are not clean by any stretch of the imagination. so it's not just that.)
i think another part of it is that "cultural christian" is, like, kind of an insult in many christian circles. (definitely dates back to at least 2011, idk if it goes further. idk if that predates the tumblr discourse or not.) it's a way for christians to tear town other christians for not being "christian enough". for some ex-christians, "cultural christian" doesn't mean "raised in a society influenced by christianity", it means "lukewarm christian who's gonna get vomited up by jesus and turned away from heaven"
being lukewarm, many christians say, is worse than not believing at all. (kind of like judas, who jesus said would've been better off not being born at all.) being lukewarm is something many ex-christians spent their christian years being terrified of.
(i would argue that some of the persecution complex actually comes from that fear. because we're told all the time about the lukewarm christians who weren't strong enough to die for their faith. we were raised on the story of cassie, promising that if a gun was held to our heads, we would still profess the name of jesus christ. we were taught that if we were christian enough, then the world would hate us. so if the world didn't hate us -- if the world wasn't persecuting us -- then it had to be because we weren't good enough. but anyways the connection between lukewarm fear and persecution complex is a topic for another day.)
so i think in that sense a problem is that "cultural christianity" is a term with two competing meanings which are very much different from each other, one of which IS 100% intended as an insult. and the problem with "cultural christianity" in the way that it's used on tumblr is that if you google "cultural christianity", the results are about the christian pov on cultural christianity. that's always a recipe for miscommunication.
and one last sort of thought: many things that are kind of "culturally christian" are things that the church often doesn't approve of. like, giving gifts at christmas? it's not heresy, but you better make sure that the gift you're most thankful for is jesus dying on the cross for you. also, santa is almost definitely satan.
(interestingly, something like christmas gifts is probably one of the things where christians and non-christians will agree on what "cultural christianity" might mean. christians will say it's culturally christian because it's people who don't believe in christ but want gifts. non-christians will say it's culturally christian because, like, it's literally about the supposed birth of jesus?)
anyways, there's not really a point here. just wanted to bring up some points that i haven't really seen mentioned whenever i see the cultural christianity discourse, because i think they're important to understanding where the discourse stems from. (i like to think discourse isn't all just people bitching at each other for no reason. i like to think it stems from miscommunication because we don't understand each others' traumas and triggers. but then that might be too optimistic.)
#exvangelical#ex christian#ex fundie#apostate#religious trauma#<- not really on this post but i know it's relevant to a lot of ex-christian's feelings on “cultural christianity” as a term#(by the way the “” throughout this post are not meant to like?? invalidate the term?? just like to emphasize that we're talking about the#term and not necessarily always the concept?? esp because of the contradicting meanings that i mentioned in the post)#(and the inconsistency is because i'm a tired mess who honestly has forgotten how to grammar)#religious deconstruction#cultural christianity#christian hegemony#i really hope this makes some amount of sense
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Give him an AAC device and an electric wheelchair NOW!!!
#Im busy and im not really that into the game but if someone else has drawn this id love to see it#oh man i hope nobody interprets a man drugged up and not getting proper treatment and being abused as something cute!!!#i hope that if theres happy art of him its not just erasing the amount of pain and trauma he faced and making him unrealistically healed#(i mean it is sci fi so some of it is okay but. some of it makes no sense and seems like theyre just avoiding drawing something realistic.)#mouthwashing
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Idk if this is controversial, but studying for a English/writing degree at university shouldn’t make you NOT want to engage with writing or literature. Just a thought.
#the amount of times one of my literature professors presented us with the worst reading or interpretation (some of which were just plain#revolting) of a piece of literature almost as if she were expecting us to like it just because it was sensational and me and everyone else#going ‘um. no. sorry. not only does that make no sense but now I kind of want to throw up’#I just came here to read some gothic lit and honestly I’m feeling so attacked right now. (my fault for signing up for gothic lit I suppose)#her English survey class made me never want to look at the written word again#however I know this isn’t me having an issue with survey classes (although the rate they make you read at is kind of ridiculous and I read#fast: case in point for one of them I had to read Huck Finn in 9 days)#because I took American Survey from another professor and it was really challenging but probably the best course I ever took at university#I was not expecting to develop such a distaste for the academic world at uni but maybe that’s just my university (whenever I complain about#this my mom always tells me I need to watch Dead Poet’s Society lol)#siggggghhh anyway. hoping for some better classes with my exchange program (although none of them are writing/English as I’m almost#finished with my degree)#english lit#university#english#college
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Okay, so here's a little thing I noticed. Not sure if others have noticed this too but, hey! Why not spread the good word. Also, this thought contains spoiler talk as well so heads up if you wanna avoid those! Will warn when it happens. Ahem. Here is a sprite of Aoi I just snatched for demonstration.
Here she is closer. Can you see it?
It's the school emblem! Or like, that part of it that's in Monokuma's eye! Kinda forgot what it's meant to actually be on the emblem itself ngl. Like.. is it am abstract wing??? Not sure. I shrug like Aoi.
Here is a closer pic of her shorts and the school emblem as well.
Here are other sprites of her too which shows that it's not just a one sprite deal.
This doesn't seem like much bit it also got me thinking. This is where the spoilers come in so run while you can!!
First of all, during the tragedy and the brain wiping of the students and their memories of previously being in the school, this would mean that she had these on, right? Right before shit hit the fan? Like, when Junko did her junking around and all, Aoi would have had this get up on during that. Or, maybe not. Perhaps there is a chance that Junko put her in different clothes? Like, she intentionally picked out these shorts for Aoi as some elaborate trolling method and planted them their on her person. And, maybe she'd know that the chances of them questioning and noticing this is low but, she did it anyway for her own amusement. Also, if Junko DID redress them all before the killing game, she was really going all out with this. Very conniving of her. Maybe it was to make sure it convincing that they had never been at Hopes Peak and feed into that lie. Something along those lines. Also messed up too. Wonder if she did it herself or had Mukuro do it though... Not sure Also, now I'm curious what tools she used for memory wiping everyone though that's another question. Not sure if I'd wanna know anyway! Know for a fact that Kyoko took the longest though with her being the Ultimate Detective and her dad being the headmaster of the whole dang school! Poor Kyoko. Or... hmmm. What is the likely hood that these shorts are from the school and she got them while being IN the school itself pre-tragedy era or like... did she preorder them or something? Could a student preorder clothes from Hopes Peak High School??? Or did Aoi wear this outfit on her way to Hopes Peak or did she have MOST of the outfit on and the "Junko planted the Hopes Peak shorts on" theory happened at the same time? Or, ooh! Maybe Junko used some. She may be the Ultimate Despair and the Ultimate Analyst (think that was in Danganronpa Zero manga??) but maybe she was able apply those skills into designing shorts that perfectly matched the ones Aoi wore to school pre-tragedy but JUST with that added emblem on it to troll? So many questions! This really does makes me think. Like, imagine in an alternate timeline. Could this be evidence of some sort of how they all used to be in this school? Like, when discover that they all used to go to Hopes Peak and that they had their memories wiped, could someone be like "Hey! This is all mad and crazy and all but look at Aoi's shorts" or something? Does that make sense? Maybe? Makes me wonder too. If Kyoko was on her A-game and not struggling with the fact that she got hit the hardest with her memory loss, would she notice this detail on Aoi's shorts or like, how long would it take her to notice? I'm not a detective and I saw this after all! Again, so many questions of mine! I swear though. I dunno how much this makes sense. Though, this small detail on Aoi's sprites kept coming back to me and I have finally figured out how to word it all!
#danganronpa#danganronpa trigger happy havoc#trigger happy havoc#danganronpa aoi#aoi asahina#danganronpa junko#junko enoshima#danganronpa kyoko#kyoko kirigiri#talked about the two a good amount#so i felt it was a good play to tag them both here!#don't mind me!!#just me throwing ideas out there#in the spoiler side of this#trying my best to make sense of it all#also#like#it's actually hopes peak high school which for some reason i forgot???#somehow???#no clue at all!#maybe cus hopes peak academy#that sounds better to say for me at least#unless it's some localization thing i never noticed or something cus that could also be the case regarding that#really do hope that this wasn't all confusing though!!#i could be onto something so i hope it's legible!#even when i am maybe being smart with this discussion i continue to flounder by being confused at my said intelligence T-T#how do i managed to do that?!?!#AH! I'm actually using my brain more for non-Togami related things and that are also not shitposts!!!#though who knows. i'm just being a WEE bit daft and that there is an explanation to this that has nothing to do with what i was saying#i dunno!
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#angle under the cut where you can see their eyes because it is NOT very flattering from the front#sharpedo#this is the fucker that zooms after you like a missile in the swsh DLC‚ right? i think it also does that in sv. it's scary honestly#it's so fast. and it makes that big ol' zoomin' effect like the third nozzle in super mario sunshine. i don't remember what it's called but#it's the gray one. super mario sunshine is my favorite mario game which i feel like is not a very popular opinion#but it tracks because i had a gamecube as a kid. so games on that tend to be some of my favorites because nostalgia i guess#luigi's mansion‚ super mario sunshine‚ pokémon colosseum…#i could go on and on about these games. honestly. luigi's mansion is one of my favorites of all time. i still think it's great even as an#adult. it's much better than the other luigi's mansions in my opinion‚ though i guess my opinion Might be clouded by nostalgia#although i would like to think i can look back on it with a critical eye. i still replay it basically once a year cuz it's super short#i think it's super atmospheric and the later two luigi's mansion games don't really capture that same aesthetic#of… what basically amounts to like. a horror aesthetic. which is weird to say because it's a kids' game but#y'know i'm also not putting my whole brain into these tags right now bc i'm distracted but i hope i am making sense#fellow luigi's mansion fans know what i'm talking about. this is not about sharpedo so here is sharpedo#i believe this'll be posting on the last day of my outing when i'll be flying back home. so. finger's crossed#nope i just queued it and it's the day before i'm flying home. either way‚ good luck‚ future me
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pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I don’t really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah
con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines
#it’s getting better but only now that it’s like. 6pm#as weird as it sounds part of why this sucks is that I volunteered to come into work today cause there’s a concert going on nearby which#usually means we’re at least somewhat busy -> make better tips#and I couldn’t go in because well. you know#I’ve been sick and dying in bed all day unable to move or eat or anything#let alone take the bus and go to work#but. as much as I wish I didn’t go this overboard I don’t totally regret last night cause.#yeah. potential thing going on with cute coworker guy. OH and potential job opportunity at my favorite bar in town#apparently said coworker Also has a job at the bar in addition to where we both work and the bar is hiring barbacks at entry-level#so I have someone to vouch for me and the bartender we were talking to seemed to really want me to apply too#one thing that’s kinda funny to me about all this is that the first two places (a bar then a club) we were at felt really mid because they#were packed with way too many straight people (at a gay bar and a gay club)#but the bar we ended up at (where we ALWAYS end up at. it is the oasis. it is the only thing I can rely on) felt. like. not overwhelmingly#straight? at all? I mean part of it’s just luck in a way with just who happened to be there and all that but it’s also that the staff seem#pretty significantly populated with queer ppl#I complained to the bartender about how the club we were at (one of the biggest gay clubs in the city- if not The biggest) just felt kinda#meh because yeah maybe there were some guys dancing in jockstraps and whatever but the crowd itself like. did not feel largely queer#or at least didn’t have the spirit I’d hope for in a queer space if that makes sense. felt very conventional. not enough wild outfits and#makeup and gender fuckery and so on#and the bartender was like dude I KNOW right? I went off outside there once about the invasion of cishets when this space isn’t FOR them#and so on and so forth. and god that was So real.#so the experience at my beloved bar last night was like. 1) guy comes up behind me just to order a drink but i was saving a seat for my#friend who was in the bathroom and mentioned that in case he was looking to take the seat. chatted a little. ended with him pointing out#that a guy nearby was trying to holla at me.#2) I look over and yes. the dj is. in fact. looking directly at me and mouthing the lyrics to whatever song was playing pointed my way.#it was pretty sweet honestly I think it was partly cause I looked like I was shy and alone#3) whatever gay shit was going on with my coworker and i. amusingly he seems to get more flamboyant when he drinks just like i do.#im not 100% sure what his sexuality is but i Am 100% sure it is Not straight. but yeah. if it hadn’t been so close to closing time ive been#hardcore wondering where that would’ve gone. maybe its for the best that i had to go when i did cause i was pretty drunk and who knows when#I could’ve hit the amount of drunk it takes to like outright say hey just so you know i’d suck your dick right now if you wanted
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I'd love to jump into the head of someone who is more emotionally aware than me. (I'm not smart, please don't interpret this as that) but I've always intellectualized things (always) for as long as I can remember.
I'd just love to experience the world from a perspective where you know what you're feeling.
#ME MAKING NO SENSE#i really do try so hard#also#i THINK a lot#probably more than the average person#but /thinking/ genuinely means !nothing! in terms of being smart#i have the dumbest thoughts even though i /think a lot/#so please don't take this the wrong way#also the 'average person' is actually -probably- a small amount of people#i think a LOT of people are just pretending#like they're better than a lot of /us/ (sorry for dragging you all into this but pls relate to me)#but they're secretly suffering#that's my take for the day#i genuinely feel like i was born to THINK but to NEVER ever /solve/ anything whatsoever#that's up to someone else#also probably why i feel so stagnant in fic-writing because i've explored most of the underlying spiritual-scientific causes of the emotion#THATS WHAT I KNOW#some of u all are SO GOOD at capturing the actual emotion#im in genuine AWE#pls know that#(obviously there's so so so many people like me)#so scared of sounding narcissistic#you're probably all smarter than me#HOPE UR ALL GOOD if u /god forbid/ got this far <3
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okay. I read gideon the ninth. i gave in and read the popular book that i had a grudge against reading because it was popular and marketed as lesbian books and it got recommended every time anyone talked about the lack of women as main characters in sci-fi/fantasy. and it was exactly as good as people said it was. also, for those of you who thought i was unbearable over zoro?? you ain't seen nothing yet
#the marketing as lesbian books isn't a bad thing... i just get very tired of like queer book marketing? if that makes sense#yes i want books with queer characters but i don't really want that to be the only reason a book is considered good#i hope i'm making sense#but that's not how it was! there were lesbians and it was central to the characterization of some characters but that was not what the story#was actually about and not once was sexuality ever brought up and no modern words were ever used to describe someone's sexuality#it was literally. normal. it just was the way they were and it wasn't a whole thing#(also gender was treated the same) and it was genuinely nice and good and wonderful (and high key relatable lol)#but anyway. gideon is everything to me. she is The Character#so i am about to spend a stupid amount of money on a larp longsword#and i am going to think about her every day till i die#also i am going to be reading the next books... but in order to avoid book induced insomnia i will try to read them slower lol#(we'll see if i can succeed or not)
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i put the mad in penguins of madagascar the way i’m just smiling and waving boys
#raii talks a lot#no….. that doesn’t make sense….. slides down chair#they don’t tell you about smiling and nodding while you imagine attacking the person talking to you. they dont#really weird situation where someone i dislike a large amount was bitching to me abt people they dislike in their class and#bitched about a friend of mine so i was just sitting there because what do i say to that#“i agree (lie)” or “no wrong you have no sense of humor i hope you take a long walk off a short pier”#or what i actually said which i shouldn’t have “haha yeah i’ve heard some things about you in that class”#they know that’s my pal. what do they expect in this scenario. not saying we all have to get along but. maybe save that for someone else??
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Wait so is this like. The manga version also? Or is this like a full metal alchemist oh shit we ran out of things to animate let’s make up our own story now???? Very confused
i have. no fucking clue to be honest but if i were to guess the manga will be similar?? bc im assuming asagiri and harukawa had the chapters done for months now, early enough to give them to the anime team to animate and 111 is just one of them
i really didnt like this episode i think the pacing was bad and rushed so im hoping theres some more info in the manga?? but also. it would suck so bad if we were now behind the fucking anime and unless we get like 3 fucking chapters next month thats whats going to happen
and with the 2 hours later thing, i dont think its an anime thing bc of how it resembles the fit fukuchi is wearing in that last doa official art, but 2 hours????? girl what on earth is going on. this arc has been so pong and exhausting and the writing has been decreasing in quality and were all tired so the idea of sth huge happening soon is just really not that exciting to me. i want to see the political repercussions and the page not another fight, at least not now
but yeah tldr i dont think this is an anime only resolution, at least not entirely. a lot of the things make sense ig (like bram regarding his body and dropping the vampires, i feel like thats the only thing that could have happened) but maybe the pacing will be better and maybe therell be some useful info
#sorry idk if any of this makes sense im really tired#im really not happy with this episode the chuuya reveal was so fucking dissapointing#and the fukuchi plot got so convoluted i cant even say if it was a good ending bc idk#i hopes fukuzawa would die and idk maybe he will?? doesnt seem like it tho#i just wish we had some fucking stakes in the story again bc there are none as of now#even with the new threat like oooh whats going to happen#there will be cliffhangers every chapter no resolution and more dropped plot points?#like for the amount of violence nobody is ever seriously hurt#bc of the yosano ex machina which i dont dislike#but god asagiri let a non antagonist die or suffer consequences im begging you#and i dont even understand what happened with one order like is fukuzawa responsible for it now#does he have the power to control everyone#and wheres yosano jfc#ask#sorry again my brain feels like scrambled eggs
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YOU CAN HIT A TAG LIMIT??? My ramblings in the tags have been conquered and squashed by the 30 tag limit. How silly!
#syncrovoid.txt#delete later#maybe??#ANYWAYS if i continue the story it wouldn't make much sense so i will wrap it up by saying#sleep deprivation isnt actually rhat bad and you really have to work to get bad symptoms#anyways on a totally unrelated note i have to take 2 to 4 times the amount of pain killers or sedatives for the to start impacting me#when my wisdom teeth were removed (rude! they are mine haha!) i was given 3 sedatives and full legal dose laughing gas and i was like.#just there. in the room chilling. they did local anesthetics and i remember that whole thing moreso than the average day!#even though the sedatives were supposedly supposed to make you forget or hazy?#anyways near the end of the surgery my dad is walking in the hallway and opens the door but before he fully came in i was like#“hey dad!!” and waved. but when you are supposed to lay still with your mouth held open by tools and filled with blood you are NOT#supposed to sit up and welcome people in. and because my face was covered it was by the sound of his shoes?#i dont reember that bit as much but my dad told me it after and when i went for the follow up the dentist said he'd never been#jumpscared in such a situation by someone who should've been conked out#after the surgery i got up and the dentist gave me my teeth in a small bag (i kept it as a test to see if my memory would get messed up#since how often does that happen?) and i just walked away. freaked out a bunch of people though and my parents lol#anyways it is a joke for some people i know that i am simply Built Different. i think i am just too silly to contain by mortal rules <-#i joke in a very silly way!! i am soso sleep deprived right now#dhould i be saying any of this? is my typing making sense? my fingers are numb and my brain feels three shades ourple from forest deep teal#time to sleowly pass out and time travel! farewell all ye who read this! i hope ye have wondrous days ahead of you and a lovely life!!!#@:P
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